


Cryo Princess

by cloheda



Category: Bellamy Blake - Fandom, Bellarke - Fandom, Clarke Griffin - Fandom, The 100, clarkekru
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, Confusion, Dreams, F/M, Fanfic, Headcanon, Heartache, Heartbreak, Love, Multi, Other, POV Clarke Griffin, Panic Attacks, Sad, Sad Clarke, cryo frozen, feeling sorry, sad feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 06:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16849264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloheda/pseuds/cloheda
Summary: This takes place when Clarke is going into cryo feeling a lot of feels with Madi’s question (”do you think we’ll dream?”) floating around in her head… The first dream of our frozen princess. This is the beginning of what’s become of that.





	Cryo Princess

**Author's Note:**

> This thought has been in my head since the moment they went into cryo. This was one of those things that I just needed to happen. Since it seems like dreams are the only way for me to get my fill, here we are! ♡ This is Bellarke central, heartachey feels throughout, sad feels, and love.

As she lies down and closes her eyes... _I can feel the sun on my face. I see trees all around me, I smell scented wildflowers on a breeze. It's so beautiful here in our little Eden. At this moment I'm not stranded in space. I am with Madi in OUR valley collecting berries. This is peace, this is what I crave for. Just my little one and I. It's been six years of this, figuring it all out together just us two. Hoping that the others that I love are safe and protected. Though still having a little puddle of worry constantly swirled up in my stomach for them. Calling Bellamy every day on this damned radio that I'm not even sure works. Nevertheless, every day I find myself hoping that it does just as much as the day before and every day I try to keep going on despite it all. I needed them to know that I was here in this little patch of green... I needed them to know that they could come home... that he could come home._

_  
_

_Six years have come and gone. Now once again a nuclear apocalypse has killed everyone on earth, leaving the planet simmering in radiation. Less surprising this time around, there are survivors. However… there is no more Bunkerkru, nor Spacekru, nor Eligiuskru, no more just momma bear and her cub. There is now only a new and improved Wonkru, this time with my Madi as our heda. We are all off of our earth now and on the Eligius ship. Monty has told us that the earth will need another sixty plus years to become survivable. This time though, we'll get to see it again. The Eligius ship has a cryo chamber that will fit ALL of us. We'll get to go back to the ground… I can hardly believe it, we’ll get to go back home. For now, though...._

_This is our reality._

 

_(the cryo chamber closes)_

 

* * *

 

The weirdest feeling fell over Clarke, it was like a dark fog was being lifted from her vision. Like slowly waking up from a really deep sleep. Her vision blurry she started rubbing her eyes…

 

Looking around she sees that they’re back on the bridge. Clarke, Madi, Bellamy, Raven, Zeke, Monty, Harper, Emori, Murphy, and Echo all circled around the window seeing what’s become of their Earth. There was nothing but fire to be seen. Not even their poor tiny Eden could be spotted. They couldn't help finding themselves already missing the Earth that most had only known for a short while. They had waited so long to smell the fresh air….to feel the solid ground beneath their feet. It had all come and gone too soon.

Clarke moved up to the window. She froze there with complete despair flooding every ounce of her… After a moment of trying to take it all in, she shook herself back to reality, slowly thawed, and turned to her “friends”. She took a moment to really looked at all of them for the first time in all these years. Despite the heartache that was slowly filling the empty spots in her chest, she couldn’t deny the fact that she had missed them all so so much.  Her cheeks felt hot from the tears that had started streaming down her face. Her breathing felt shallow in her chest.

She couldn’t help wondering if this group of people that she had never stopped loving still thought of themselves as even her friends. Because regardless of everything that had happened, to her they were still her family. That was always how she felt about them, that was a fact that would never change for her at least. That being said, she couldn’t shake the thought that they no longer felt anything for her… It felt like only ghosts of past feelings were felt here.

_I feel like I’ve died, came back and no one’s actually happy that I’m not dead…_

While for six whole years she had nothing but hope when thinking of them. She never once let herself believe that they hadn’t made it… she hadn’t been able to bear the thought that she had failed them. She needed to believe that they were up there safe and sound on the Ark... Looking down on her little patch of green. That her daily calls were being heard by him. Even though she had gone all those years hearing nothing… her hope for them never wavered. It’s what kept her alive all this time.

They’re a different story though. They had mourned her death. They all seemed to have moved on from her…

That had to be what hurt her more the most. An overwhelming urge to scream at all of them had overcome her.

_I’m still here….I’m right here…and they’re all treating me like I’m a fucking ghost or something…_

Their distance made her heart break into a million pieces... How could they have given up on her? She had always made it… no matter what the situation. There was always a lever.

Madi stepped forward and reached up to take Clarke's face into her hands so she could wipe away the tears there. Forever her little comfort, Clarke managed to produce a small smile for her.

Madi’s voice was no more than a whisper when she finally spoke, “oh my sweet momma bear… what’s wrong? why are you crying?” Clarke's heart felt like it officially caved in at that. Her whole body started shaking…every blood vessel overwhelmed by all the emotions she was feeling.

“This was all my fault… I let all of you down”, her throat felt raw while she spoke. “I tried so hard to do the right thing I really did… I’m so sorry. I wanted to protect all of you, you must know that. That’s all that I’ve ever wanted… things just got so messed up and I lost myself along the way. This has all been so… I mean we went six years just us two and a radio.”

It felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. Feeling a little dizzy she took a moment to try and collect herself.  Madi moved to hold onto Clarke's arm, putting herself kind of in front of her momma bear like she was guarding her. Clarke couldn’t help smiling down at her fearless little protector.  _The roles should really be reversed here…_ Gripping Madi’s hand she felt still again.

When she finally got the courage to look back up they were all staring at her, sullen expressions on their faces.

“I knew that I was going to be too late. I couldn’t get the stupid freaking thing to move... and god I could see the fire coming. It had to have been the most terrifying thing that I’ve ever seen... Once I finally made it back I swear I laid there for days in the worst pain and the only thing that got me through was the hope that I had that you all had made it. That you were all safe and that …that this time I hadn’t failed.”

Clarke shifted her gaze to Bellamy. “When I finally made it out I found this radio and I called you every day since trying to get through to let you know that I had made it… and then once it was okay again, to let you know that you could come back home… A total of  2,199 days of nothing but hope. When you all seemed to have moved on…”

She couldn’t help noticing Echo uncomfortably shuffling around in the corner. To be honest, she wasn’t even trying to be coldhearted to the girl here. At this point, she just couldn’t be bothered to care. Let us not pretend that the girl had ever offered her any kindness or sympathy anyways. This had all been held in too damn long.

” Did you ever even hear me? The only thing that got me through all of this awful shit and kept me semi-sane was talking to you every day. Believing you were there like you always were. That you had made it and...”

Bellamy seemed unable to look up, his eyes looked like they were glued to the floor. But Clarke was determined to say her peace and more than ever she needed to know that he’s paying attention to everything that she was about to say.  She slowly moved towards him and softly held his face in her hands, guiding his eyes back to her.

 “and that you would make it back to me...”

Bellamy seemed to be fading away before her eyes, panic filled Clarke. He still felt solid in her hands even though he’d started to look like a ghost.

She turned to look at the others, but they had all gone. She didn’t even hear them leave… When she looked back at Bell her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

_This can’t be happening…_

“No no no wait, please Bell… I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say this out loud, but I need you to know” She put her head on his chest, it felt like they were holding onto each other for dear life. Neither one able to bear the thought of losing one another again.

“I love you, Bellamy. I think I’ve always known that and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long... But I do, I love you so much Bell and I can’t lose you, not again. I won’t.” She nuzzled her face into his chest as she held onto him, tears still streaming down her face. “You mean so much to me. You’re my heart Bellamy, I’ve felt so lost without you.”

Bellamy squeezed her tighter and kissed her forehead. She couldn’t shake the feeling... this felt all too much like goodbye.

“I know Princess…me too…I love you too.”

Just like that, she was holding onto nothing but air.

Bellamy was gone.

_No no no no… This cannot be happening. Not again…_

She saw him disappear, still, she found herself spinning around searching for them. For him. Please let this be some sick joke. She can’t bear to lose them all again. Especially not him... For six years it's felt like such a big part of her hearts been missing and she's been left with only a little piece, the perfect size for Madi.

_oh god, wait where’s Madi??_

No… they’re all gone. Filled with panic, her chest was so heavy… she felt herself falling into the shadows... a black hole was swallowing her up.

_They’re all gone. I can’t do this again…I can’t._

Collapsing to the floor her breath felt like it was impossible to get out. Her tears trying their best to drown her… and just like that, she's all alone once again.

“I’m so sorry… please, you all have to know that. I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened, for all of it. Please please forgive me…”

As she curled up in a ball on the floor doing everything she could to hold herself together. Her vision blurring, she felt a dark fog once again rolling over her. This time she welcomed it with open arms.

 

“May we meet again…” she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever so please be gentle lol ♡ The idea for this made me feel so inspired and I couldn't resist writing about it. Usually my work stays with me but my lovely friend inspired me to share instead. With that said, this is in honor of my Supernatural sister ladywinchester1967 on tumblr ♡ Her wonderful fics inspired me to write one of my own!
> 
> Any comments and of course Kudos would be greatly appreciated! ♡   
> I hope you all enjoy ♡


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